Bossy

When our second-born son “graduated” from preschool, the teachers offered an optional parent/teacher meeting to glean their observations about your child’s learning readiness etc. I was pretty curious what his teacher would say, so I signed up with a lot of questions in mind. Two years later, I STILL crack.up.laughing. when I think of what she told me.

He received overall high marks and certainly showed Kindergarten readiness. But her most critical thing that she had to offer me (I asked for it) was that he was “sort of bossy”. I had to bite my lip when she told me this because of all I know about my amazing middle child. She went on to explain how he micromanages the play going on in the room, how he acts as “rules police” to the other students and is quick to point out whenever someone is incorrect (i.e. that girl is saying the ball is blue but that ball is CLEARLY green).

She was so right about him doing those things- and it hasn’t really changed. I’ve read “The Birth Order Book” in hopes to better understand him and to figure out why he acts like he does. I think that the truth is more that he is a child in a home FULL of first-borns (his mother, father and brother all) and until recently, he was the one getting left out of things because he was too young/little to participate.

Those tables are beginning to turn with the addition of his sister (competition) and with some work on instilling more of a “worry-about-yourself” and “take responsibility for your own stuff” ideology for him. I see so much of myself in him and that’s hard! It reminds me how clearly I remember my little sister harping on me that I was SO. BOSSY. when we were growing up. She still laughs and teases me about it.

I’ve embraced my bossiness in a whimsical way and I hope I can teach him to open up that tight fist of control. The hardest lessons I learned were that #1. I can only control my own response and #2. good teachers replicate themselves.

However the challenge for me now is how do my husband and I as parents take this leadership capability and help our son develop those skills so that he can grow from bossy to great leader?

From where we sit right now, I think all the glory will have to go to God. Parenting is one doozie of a journey!

School Daze and New Beginnings!

Cecelia
Cecelia

 

Cooper and Chase
Cooper and Chase

This. I blinked and here they are, all ready for school and eager for what’s ahead. Preschool, First grade and Fourth grade.  As I searched through the incredibly unorganized photo files on my computer to post these pictures, I found stuff like this hanging around.

August 2013 hugger

My sweet girl Cecelia in her Christmas dress! AH! She melts me...
My sweet girl Cecelia in her Christmas dress! AH! She melts me…

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All he wants for Christmas!
All he wants for Christmas!

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Chase's FAVORITE thing to do is cuddle with his sister. It's so adorable
Chase’s FAVORITE thing to do is cuddle with his sister. It’s so adorable
This is what Cecelia did....
This is what Cecelia did….

Oh…be still my heart! I treasure these little people. They are a delight to my heart. I love that I get to be their Mom and watch them grow. I love seeing their little personalities develop and it makes me want to dance and sing to see the lovely people they are becoming. I pray that as I send them out a little at a time in these school days ahead of us, that they feel celebrated for who they are. I pray that they feel blessed to go and grow. I pray they feel the swelling pride I have for them. Because they are beautiful creatures.

And if I feel this way about my little babies (who are clearly not so little) then it stirs my soul to think about how God feels about me.

I have NO idea what’s ahead for me personally and I’m working on being satisfied with that mystery as I enter this new stage of life where my children are at school and I’m….what am I?  I’m working on not “proving” myself as a woman to the world because I do not have to do that! I am both enough and not too much to Jesus. My life feels so connected to their lives. That quote about how having children is like having your heart walk around outside your body, that’s so true. I have three pieces of my heart hanging out in this world!

My future is so entwined with theirs that I am feeling all sorts of sweeping emotions and I am daring to dream about what this looks like for me.

These are exciting times and it is with joy that I send them out and accomplish my list of things to do today.