1 + 2=3

This morning I had a conversation with my eldest child about how he likes to sleep on his stomach. It’s his favorite sleeping position, he told me. And my heart sped back to him as a baby and how I tried, and tried and tried to get that kid to sleep on his back because the whole world told me he would die of SIDS if I didn’t. #backtosleep

Once he learned to roll over by himself, he slept a lot better (and so did I!). Because he could finally sleep how he WANTED TO SLEEP.

Then I came back to this sweet 10 year old boy, sitting at the breakfast table telling me about how good he sleeps when he can be on his stomach and how much he loves it.

My heart basically burst.

I poured some coffee and meandered down the hallway to see sunshine pouring in the windows and to hear sounds of laughter and playing happening in Cecelia’s bedroom, our youngest child and only daughter. I peeked my head in and saw Chase (7) and Cecelia (3) playing with her dolls. She has some sweet toys people-so don’t be tempted to tease Chase about this in the future. He and his little sister were deep in their imaginations together for almost a half-hour. It would’ve gone on longer had we not needed to drive to school.

My heart burst again.

Kids are so amazing. In and of themselves, as individuals, they are so eye-opening. You have your first baby and it’s like trial by fire. I describe having a baby as hitting the road running at a highway pace. You better build up some speed!

But as a Momma, my MOST favorite thing is seeing my kids interact with one another. Each new child is an adjustment for parents and kids, but each new child adds so much color to the mix.

This morning as I stood in my kitchen sipping coffee from my favorite Seattle Starbucks mug, I simply basked in the joy of them and their stories. I’m so astonished at what a gift it is to be a part of this time in their lives. They will forever tell stories to one another and their friends and partners, about their childhood. They will know all our failures, all our sins and we will know a lot of theirs. (More later, most likely.)

So while there are days where I feel like I have no purpose or I am not fulfilling the purpose I have because I can’t see it. While there are days where I wonder how I can give God glory and honor with my life; today I saw a glimpse of what maybe He wants me to see. That being a parent and guiding and directing and loving in relationship with these people He has given to us is my purpose and I can bring Him glory in how I mother and parent our children. And it will go on forever because they will tell stories for as long as they live about how we lived.

It’s stunning. It’s challenging. It’s bringing me to a place of awe and worship today.