This weekend has been lovingly dreamed up for months now. My best friend lives in Seattle. I live in St. Louis.  We met almost 9 years ago. She was Jesus’s most precious gift to me in a season of life where I was lonely and afraid and very far from home and everyone who knew me.

We lived and re-discovered our lives together for 4+ years out in the Pacific Northwest as new moms who had recently quit our careers to be official SAHMs. She helped me give birth to my second child, I cried with her through her long adoption process, her husband babysat my colicky child while my husband was deployed in Afghanistan and I was overwhelmed as a geographically single mom. We got in shape together and learned to eat healthy, we made up whole new words and phrases for our lives together. We call ourselves the “NevCalfes”, a combination of both our last names. We’re tight guys.

So each year, we work hard to make at least one visit possible. Our husbands and Moms and Mom-in-Laws all work to support and help us make these trips a reality. And this weekend was one such trip. We haven’t seen each other since February of 2015 (it’s January of 2016!). This is our girls weekend in the frigid mid-west.

But it all went awry on Friday night. My husband and I brought my bestie to our new favorite mexican restaurant close to our house. I drank more than I intended to (due to laughing and not paying attention to what our waiter was asking me). It was SO fun. After dinner, we went back home, dropped off my family, gave kisses and hugs and loaded up my minivan to head out to our fun hotel for the weekend. However. By the time we got checked in to the hotel, my friend was not feeling her best. She has a sensitive tummy so we weren’t sure if it was just a little thing or the signs of something bigger to come. We laid low just in case…

And then, it hit her. Like a ton of bricks. Food poisoning.


If you have had a horrible case of food poisoning-just think of the worst kind you can have-and maybe multiply it by 2. That’s my bestie in our hotel last night. I ran to Walgreens at midnight in search of activated charcoal. I found something close but not the same as what I have on hand at home for such violent times. She was in the bathroom every 15 minutes all night long.


Sometimes, things just go awry. Life doesn’t follow the script of our expectations. She’s going to be ok. And one day far away, we will laugh about how awful this was. That Mexican place is so off the list of favorite places. They are dead to me.

The good news is that we realized her plane doesn’t leave early in the morning tomorrow like we thought; it leaves in the late evening! WAHOO! I’m holding out hope that we can salvage some fun, but if not, it doesn’t really matter. I would rather be with her while she is sick as a dog, rubbing her back and telling her I’m sorry-bringing her ice water and activated charcoal-than hearing she’s sick over text and not being able to do anything for her.

Even in this time where our fun trip has gone down in unexpected ways, I cherish this woman. If she’d let me I would totally hold her hair back while she puked. But she won’t let me, so I will just turn my music up really loud so she’s not embarrassed. And I remind her that she’s seen all of my 10,000 parts as I squeeze a baby out of my body. We’re cool like that…

As life throws it’s curve-balls at us, all we can really do is make the best of each situation. My prayer is that God would speed her healing (because planes and upset tummies do NOT mix), that we would be able to laugh through this and still enjoy the company of one another. There are very few women I feel this safe being with. I’m so grateful for her even in this time.

It’s our choice when things go awry. The situation is often what you choose to make it. So I think I’ll go grab some flowers and dry toast and hug on my friend while I can.





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