We have older-ish children and one of our most beloved past times as parents, is the joy of messing with them. Yes, we feel it is a necessary aspect of our parenting in payment for the things they did to us in their infancy and toddler, three-nager and preschool and now elementary years of life. It’s especially fun when you are aware of the things that bug your kids.

For example, take Test Subject Number One:


Test Subject #1
Test Subject #1

He’s a handsome guy, isn’t he? Yes and he usually has an excellent sense of humor. He has now reached the age where he gets jokes. That’s a fun age. In fact we have to be careful what jokes we tell to one another as parents because he now gets them too. Ahem.

Test Subject #1 greatly enjoys knowing all the things. He wants to know what we are going to do hour-by-hour, day-by-day. In fact, he’d appreciate a written schedule. Once submitted, he’d also probably negotiate each item on said schedule with well-thought rationales of why said items should or should not occur in their designated slots.

Due to this personality trait, we enjoy not telling him anything. In fact, sometimes we just tell him to get in the car, be sure he has shoes on and a coat. We don’t tell him where we are going. We don’t tell him how long we will be there. We refuse to tell him if any of his friends will be wherever we are going. And we even won’t tell him how long it’ll take to get there. GASP!


We just tell him to enjoy being present with your people and you’ll see.

Then he asks if he will be receiving anything during this mystery outing; food, toys, games, will there be candy or soda?

We just shrug our shoulders….”dunno buddy! You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Test Subject #1 hates waiting and seeing. It’s like death to him.

And we relish every second of it.

Oh sure, he’ll try to get you to drop a hint. He’ll try to find out by barraging you with questions. He’ll sigh, stomp his foot, talk in a baby voice in the third person. And we just smile.

Man guys. Being a parent is so fun. Sometimes, I envision the times that he got kicked out of the church nursery for biting kids as a one-year old or the times that he screamed because he didn’t want to go to sleep for the night,…and you know, I feel just a little bit better.

Test Subject #2 however, does not get the jokes yet. In fact, if he tries to tell you a knock-knock joke, best divert his attention with something shiny STAT!

Test Subject #2
Test Subject #2

However, if you have some slap-stick or bodily humor up your sleeve; this guy is your man. He is the kid who really gave us the most passion for messing with our kids. You see he was the toughest in the years of basically birth to age 5. Not much longer and the messing with can begin. I’m pumped. I have such an arsenal….


Test Subject #3 will probably be way less fun. It’s too early to tell really. And so far she’s pretty perfect. Maybe she just won’t be fun to mess with?

Test Subject #3
Test Subject #3

**This post is called “sarcasm”. If you can’t take a joke maybe your parents should have messed with you a little more in your childhood. Or maybe you’re a middle-kid. Either way, move along.

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