This weekend our friends from “way back when” were in town. These are always my favorite kind of visits. Somebody from the old crew puts out an apb on the Facebook saying “We’re coming into town and we want to see you guys!”. We gather ourselves and our prodigy and hang out for a few precious hours filled with laughter and chaos, (remember the prodigy) and then it’s all over until next time. Summer seems to be a great time for these reunions too because this is the second of three that will be occurring before school starts.
These particular friends go back to those early years when we were all friends, we weren’t necessarily even dating yet. But in our arsenal of memories we have mission trips to Haiti and Mexico, high school hijinks, laser tag games in a huge church after hours, weddings, baby showers and lots of moves.
Last night with the Wagners, we all tried to figure out timelines by chopping up years in accordance with the event they occurred as we tried to figure out when this happened and where. We figured out that they actually became parents after we’d already moved out to Washington and they had moved to Houston. So we’d never actually KNOWN them as parents.
That makes a big difference.
See there is this hilarious phenomenon that occurs when you have your group of friends who’ve hung out since singleness and through the dating/marriage years. All the sudden these babies come on the scene and the people you knew change. (And you thought you knew them….) For a while there can be awkwardness as you adjust to the way they’ve chosen to parent their kiddos. In the worst case scenarios, you even come to the conclusion that maybe the distance should grow between some of those friendships because YIKES! (Oh stop! Don’t even say that’s mean or not how it should be; because it’s totally true!)
It’s one of those times now that’s really fun for me to watch as new parents navigate their style of parenting and then adjust, adjust and adjust. While it may sound like this horrible truth, I think it’s an excellent personal growth experience (as are most lessons related to children and parenting). It pushes you toward intentional parenting and I don’t think that’s ever a bad thing.
As we embraced our friends and left last night I told them, “I wish we had become parents together and were still doing life around you guys, because I like the way you guys do things!”. It was so fun and refreshing to see our friends as parents. It even highlighted how much we all enjoyed each other in years past.