The Rest of November

While I’ve already moved on in my blog, I do want to close up my project for November. I was deeply struck on Thanksgiving day by something I’ve asked God to do for many years. I began asking Him to break the bonds of generational sin in my family probably 15 years ago. Lately, there have been moments that have made me feel like the Holy Spirit is gently nudging my shoulder and saying “look” to me; showing me not only ways God has answered those prayers, but how He has instilled new prayers in the midst of my old ones. New prayers of reconciliation and redemption, new bridges to be built,old ways and poor habits to be disposed of as new love comes in.

To close up my gratefulness exercise, I am deeply grateful for my sister and her part in that seeing. I am so deeply grateful that I am known by her and that I know her. I am so grateful that she and I can wrestle and cry and laugh and push forward in such lovely ways together in this life. She brings me light and joy and fullness. She helps me see that I am indeed, not crazy. Most of all, she reminds me that I am not alone in my experiences in this world and that is a deep and beautiful gift that just keeps on blooming.

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My beautiful sister with my baby and her namesake.

 

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November 20-26? WHAT!?

AGH! You know what happens when you start asking God to help you focus on the moments you see Him? You do see Him (Jeremiah 29:13 in the NLT “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me”) but you also can get side swiped. I got side swiped this past week.  Side-swiped with gunk. There was all sorts of lovely intertwined and among it, but it set me back and set me off my pace.

I’ve sat down to write over and over since November 20 in an attempt to catch up. I lost count  since then over how many times I have been pulled away by a something or a someone who truly needed my attention.

So as I sit here, finally determined to accomplish this reminder – to myself and to others-that Jesus is giving me gifts each day that I see;  that point me to Him, I’m typing feverishly fast in an attempt to post this before something comes to steal, kill and destroy.  I’m being mildly dramatic-but really, that’s how today feels.

I posted on FB that I just want to scream into my pillow today! Each thing I go to do gets interrupted or undone or cannot be accomplished or requires 5 more steps before it can be accomplished. It doesn’t feel like a normal day of inconvenience; it feels personal.

In light of that and this stinkin’ day I am grateful for:

-the sunshine, my beloved sunshine, is pouring through the back glass doors as I type. I love sunshine. Truly I was created to be hot and near water of some kind. I do NOT like winter.  I deal with it. I make the best of it. I can even find beauty in it. But I’m made for heat! I adore the sunshine. So after several days of cloudy skies threatening to snow, this is grace to me.

-text messages. My friends have checked on me as I’ve whined about my frustrations and I’m so grateful that they care. They know me-know my emotions, and my heart; but they still check on me. MWA

-laundry. I freakin’ accomplished washing the laundry. And I feel like a rock star for that small victory.

-A clean stove. I washed that stove till it shined! And then I washed the weird parts in the dishwasher. I’m thankful I even have a dishwasher (rather than I just AM the dishwasher)!

-Popcorn balls. I signed up to make them for my son’s Thanksgiving party. But, my time was stacking up in such a way that I’d be up till VERY late making them-or attempting to make them. So my husband did it. Cheerfully. With great love in his heart. And the boys even helped him. My family SERVED me?! WOW! I was over the moon over those popcorn balls. And I proudly gave every bit of the credit to my husband at the party when people ooo’ed and aaawww’ed over them!

-that today, even with all it’s disappointments, fell on today. I don’t know what tomorrow holds or the next day or the next, but today frankly, I have time to have a bad day. I’m still fighting back to salvage my day, but it’s a good day for it. The fight is in me today. Today I have the strength and that is from Jesus.

-that the holidays are here! I’m ready for days off school, a different day-to-day schedule than we usually keep, a different pace with different things happening. There is fun ahead!

Beyond all this crud is some expectant waiting. Some prayers for patience and kindness in the midst of crazy. And especially more time of intentionally looking for what I am grateful for today.