And dog-gone it! People like me!

Sounds sad, huh? Ugh, you know, lately I’ve been in what I am calling a Mommy Funk. Things are tough for us right now. Moving back to St. Louis hasn’t exactly been a piece of cake with a cherry on top. There’s no cake in fact.

Just cruisin' in the ditch

The job market is tough for my beloved husband. The two jobs (yup, the poor guy is working two jobs!) he currently has only enable us to barely squeak by each month. I mean, frog hairs here people. It’s hard for me to relate to my peers in a lot of ways because here we are, struggling to start over from scratch when it seems like everyone else is on the other side of their ditch cruisin’ in the breeze.

In the midst of this, I’ve started at least working on my resume. I haven’t updated it since I got my dream job back in 2003. (Yikes!) The exercise has rustled up all sorts of emotions in me. Resume writing is like a history lesson. It forces you to look at yourself and all you’ve done, all the ways you have changed and grown up. Some stuff I write and I think, “ooh…how do those people remember me?” and “should I put them on my resume?”.

At the same time, it is a bit invigorating. I was looking at classifieds (to help me think of terminology and what I used to do) and as I began to really think about ALL I did, I was flat-out encouraged. I seriously said to myself, “Hey! I can do a lot!” Movie flashbacks of Jim Carey come to mind, “You like me! You really like me!” and not only that, but I was reminded I AM good at what I can do.

Good Old Stewart Smalley

I don’t know what is ahead of us or what is in store for our future. God truly is in control and I trust Him. My strong man is adding school to his already full plate next month. (‘Cause, you know, why not work two jobs and finish your BS degree?) I know what I would like to see happen for me and I’ve decided to push towards it, even if it does scare me.

People always say to cherish all the times in your life, not just the good. It’s hard for me to cherish these tough times right now. I pray we can be old people laughing on some porch about how we squeaked by and all the ways Jesus carried us through slim times.

I feel like what we are experiencing is a pivotal time in our life. I don’t want to be ruled by fear and miss an opportunity. I’m going to hold on to that view of me and my love rocking on a porch swing, old and wrinkly and laughing. Writing my resume is helping me to grasp that I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and well, you know the rest. I’ll add that Jesus is the One who made me that way and I’m grateful to Him for what and who I am.


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