I haven’t always had the privilege of staying home with my kids day in and day out. At first, I really didn’t think I wanted that privilege. But after things changed (i.e. we sold everything we had and moved a couple thousand miles away to join the Army), I found that I really like it. I had to find a groove, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, I still lose my groove and have to go out looking for it. But most days I can honestly say I am NEVER bored. My list of things to do is viscous.
I think the best thing I’ve learned thus far about staying home with the munchkins, is that it’s ok for me to take a nap sometimes too. I never could have forgiven myself for doing that before I found my groove. I really looked at being at home just like being at work away from home. Then I started noticing that I don’t get a lunch break….(I’m thinking of the movie line from A Christmas Story, “My Mother hasn’t eaten a hot meal in….years”!) and sure I CAN shut my door when I’m on the phone…it just means that the kids will wonder why I have shut myself in my closet and left them unattended and will be knocking, asking me said questions. knock, knock, knock, “Mommy?”
Right now Jeremy is really far away kicking the bad guys in the bootie and it’s just me. I’m on 24/7/365…that’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. (Well, if you want to be legalistic about it I guess I should say 350 days because Jeremy was home for 15 days.) I am learning so much even still as I have to find a whole new groove.
Right now, as I type this, there is a bunch of grapes that are in my refrigerator setting on the top shelf not on a napkin and not in a bowl or on a plate. I just opened the door and placed them in the fridge all alone. There is a mix of cracker and baby spit dried to my hardwood dining room floor right underneath the high chair. The toilet is clogged because Cooper decided to put a. whole. roll. of paper in it this afternoon. My bed is unmade and my jammies are strewn across the chair in my room. The coats are not hanging in the coat closet or on the coat hooks, no, no, they are draped over the bar stools. My rain boots are sitting by the back door and not in their “proper” place.
There was a time when I would never, ever let my house get to this point. And now that time is gone. I grabbed a glass of water earlier this afternoon, walked upstairs, climbed into my unmade bed and snuggled down with the covers over my head. Ahhhh…..
It was heaven.
The doorbell rang multiple times, so I didn’t get to keep on sleeping, but that’s ok. I don’t like my naps to last forever. I just need a little break sometimes. Now, that cracker goo dried on my floor is really starting to bother me. Back to the grind.
P.S. This was supposed to be my “week of balance” and so far the pendulum may have swung too much the opposite way (toward rest), but I’m ok with that for now. Next week I’m hoping to get things back more toward the middle!