One of the things Jeremy and I jokingly discussed before he deployed was the idea that we would turn this whole deployment experience into a book. There is surprisingly little literature on the subject (though, there is some good stuff out there.) We still may…you never know. Right now though, it still lives in the Land of Nevil Jokes (or L.O.N.J.).
However, even in the L.O.N.J., it’s worth thinking about things that would be good in the book. Like for example, my new found hermitness. Is that a word? I dunno. I made it up…it’s a QGRS Word.
I have found that one of the things I crave the most now that I am flying solo is peace and quiet. Stillness. It’s ok if people are around me (i.e. like if I was say, at Target…alone), but I just want to be in some space that has a low requirement of me. Is this weird?
I mean, let’s think about this, shall we? I’m a pretty relational person. I’m not as social as Jeremy, but I like to be around people and I do get lonely often times. Yet, there is this balance that seems to be necessary for me…almost an every-other-day kind of thing, where I need to have a little time to just “be” before I can go back out and “do”. I can’t spend too much time in either place though. If I spend too much time “being” then I sort of drown in self-pity after a while, and if I spend too much time “doing” well, I just get grouchy and irritable.
This week, my Bible study I’m doing (Hope for the Homefront) focused on Sabbath Rest. I’m not talking like, Seventh Day Adventist kind of rest though. In fact, she (the author) even takes you to the point where you have to think about what rest is for you as an individual. But the topic was just so perfect for me this week. I think that I get to the point where I am burning the candle at both ends and it is SO HARD for me to tell people “no”, and then before I know it I’m simply burnt earth!
Work is good (God said so) and I actually like work. Sometimes work is rest for me. But sometimes…it’s just not! And that is when I need peace. I need stillness. I picture quiet gardens, still waters, gentle breezes, ok,… maybe even some crashing waves. Ahhhhh…..so nice!
Bottom line, I’ve gotta be more deliberate about carving out time that is specifically for completing tasks and doing the work that is necessary in my life right now AS WELL AS time for some quiet space.
A special friend of mine told me that she is going on a solitude retreat soon. She is going to just spend a weekend alone with God. She’s is voluntarily taking away all the distractions in her life with the sole purpose of resting and listening to God’s voice. She is escaping to go and be with her Savior.
I love that. I think it would be a challenging thing for me to do because after maybe 5 hours, I know I’d be a bit lonely and tempted to “do” something. But I think after 5 more hours, I would be hearing God like He was speaking in loud speakers!
All that to say that I appreciated the reminder I had today and this week (well, at least thus far) that I have got to guard some space in my life and remember I’m a human being, not a human doing. I know that phrase is used a lot, but it is a powerful reminder to me!