Tonight, my friend Tara came over for dinner with her boys. It was originally intended to be a celebration dinner; we both had our wedding anniversaries in the past 2 weeks. But we got busy with kids and dinner and totally forgot that was why we arranged it in the first place! Regardless, it was fun and the boys had a blast together (with only one child injured this evening!).
I was telling Tara that I have been pretty grumpy lately. I think it is a host of things going on; Cooper will be starting school soon…assuming I actually enroll him sometime soon, and my whole life will change as a result. I’m throwing my own hissy fit about that today. My washer machine is broken-again-and this was not part of the plan. I intended to save up and buy myself a new set for Christmas. Money is a little tight right now with extra expenses from Jeremy being gone/getting stuff as he was preparing to leave, etc. and deployment pay takes a while to kick in. Plus, I am just feeling blah in general knowing I won’t get to talk to Jeremy for a month or more from now forward. I’m just feeling a bit scared and unsure of what I should do in some of those aforementioned situations.
This could just be the dolldrums of deployment…I dunno. Tara and Crystal both reminded me that I was grumpy when Jeremy first left a couple weeks ago too. It was actually a good reminder to me because I’ve been surprised at how I’ve dealt with deployment thus far from an emotional standpoint. I thought I’d be the crying type…but apparently I’m the grumpy type. My Mom probably could’ve told me that….
I was even skeptical about writing this post tonight. But I decided to go ahead with it because of a verse I came across this evening when I was putting Chase to bed. It’s from Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Thank you Lord that even in my grumpy state, you promise to help me. I’m sorry for my snotty attitude, thinking you do not care or see. Please help me and humble me as I learn more and more the value in accepting the help that is offered to me by my friends and my family. Please teach me how to be willing to ask for help when I need it. Please help me not to feel fear or embarrassment when I am in need. I am not perfect, I do not have it all together. Thank you for the way Your people rise up when their brothers and sisters are in need. Please help me to get over myself!