We know the date that Jeremy will leave. I can’t tell you what it is here, for security purposes. It sounds silly, but I want my man safe! Anyway, we know what it is. This knowledge has made the deployment seem so much more real. In some ways, I think that is a good thing, in others, not so much. Now it is just too close for comfort.

Our Family

I think one of the hardest things in this Army journey for me has been all the “stuff” we have needed to purchase for Jeremy. I would love to tell new soldiers to be prepared for that aspect of Army life. It’s a big deal when you are a family on a tight budget.

I guess I have heard in the media before that the soldiers don’t really have the stuff they need to do their job well. For some reason I thought they were just whining. I know that sounds terrible; it’s tough for me to even admit. But now from this side of things I understand a lot more. The Army is just like any other business; they look at the price of an item and their budget and they buy what they can afford for the soldiers. Unfortunately, that isn’t always a good thing.

We’ve spent quite a chunk of change getting the things Jeremy needs. I guess we could send him with just what the Army has issued him, but the man would be miserable. Grrrrrr…..this really irks me as a wife of a soldier. The Army could stand to do a bit more for their guys. But I can say with gratefulness in my heart that the Lord has provided for us every step of the way. I am overwhelmed with how generous He has been. Each time I’ve wondered how we would make it, He provided.

I’m actually relieved that the shopping part is done. Each time we had to buy something it was another reminder of what is coming. I know those reminders are going to continue to come, but I wish I could push them away.

We’ve had the camera out almost daily trying to take as many pictures as we can. I plan to print a bunch of pictures of Jeremy with each of the boys and then paste them all over their rooms! I want both of the boys to see their Daddy every morning when they wake up.

Since we know the date that Jeremy will be leaving, we’ve decided that we’ll have Cooper’s birthday party on July 11th instead of the 5th. I really didn’t want to do it too early since his real birthday isn’t until the 2oth. I’m glad to get to change it. Jeremy and I are excited to know that he will be here to celebrate too. We are planning all kinds of fun things for Cooper and that has helped take our minds off the inevitable.

So far, my Army girlfriends, Tara, Stephanie and Krista have helped me immensely. It is so priceless to have other wives in the same boat as you are. We all cry and laugh together at all the things going on in our hearts, the stupid fights and petty arguments we are having with our husbands and the frustrations, fears, and even the dreams we are having. I’m so thankful to have friends who are Army and friends who are not Army. They balance my heart and help me through so much!

Speaking of which, our HFG/AMC small group surprised us 2 weeks ago in a really special way! It was potluck night and the host family, the Johnson’s, said they were going to just do a BBQ for everyone. They kept insisting that no one needed to bring a thing. We arrived (on time too!) at the Johnson’s house however, things weren’t in place. Everyone was dressed up and there was no food out, no coffee started. We both thought,..”huh, that’s weird” but didn’t say anything. Once everyone got there, Peter announced that they were all taking us out to dinner at a very nice restaurant, Marzano’s! We were like, “what, why?” He he he he…

It was an incredibly sweet send off by all our friends! We were really surprised-you guys did a great job keeping us in the dark! Thanks so much for showering us with some good Italian food, rum (in the Tiramisu!), and coffee! He he he he….

I guess the last thing to say is just how touched I am by the love and support and encouragement we’ve received from our family members, our church, (thank you Renovites!) by our small group, by so many other friends and even neighbors. So many families have told me and Jeremy that should we need anything, they are there for us in a heartbeat. It feels so special to have such community around us uplifting us before the Lord and helping us through what is sure to be a tough road.

A lot of people, usually women, have told me that they could never do what I am about to do. They say I’m strong. I told Jeremy that I don’t really feel strong within myself. I feel really weak in fact. But I feel like a weak person who is leaning with all their weight up against a tall, strong, rock.

The rocks at Cannon Beach were a reminder of where my strength really comes from

I feel like I’m not strong within myself, but this thing on which I lean-it is strong. I know it is God; I know Jesus is holding me and He is my strength. I have no strength of my own and I’m glad! If it was my own strength, that would mean there is an end to it. With God, there is no end to the strength, the security or the protection I will experience. Thank you Abba, Father for being my strength.