Quiet Gardens, Raging Seas Part Deux
A String of Nevil Family MomentsArchive for Nevil Updates
We’re Good, Really, We Are…
Last night and this morning were tough for us here in the Nevil household. It was tough to choke back the tears as our minds wandered to all the FUN we’ve had while Jeremy was here on leave. We seriously had a blast together. It reminded me of how I felt shortly after Cooper was born. I remember wishing that none of us ever had to work again and that we could all just revel in our relationships with each other and the love and joy that abounds in our home. That’s about how I felt these last two weeks.
Our very special date night with the Metcalfes!
For me, it was a time to remember that I am not just a mom. I really needed that reminder more than I ever would have thought. I don’t mind being a mom, I love my role, but I got married because I love Jeremy and I love the person I am when I am with him. He reminded me that I’m a fun chick! He reminded me to be silly and to let go of being an authority in the household, he reminded me that he doesn’t just think I’m pretty, he thinks I’m GORGEOUS!
Our fun shopping date sans kiddos
We laughed and we played and we joked around so much. It was so fun to have someone who “gets” you around, someone who has been with you for so much of your life that you can say just one word and you look at each other and fall on the floor laughing because you both get it. It is an understatement to say it was a blast!
One of my other favorite things about having him home was seeing him with our children. I always knew when I was dating Jeremy that he would be an AMAZING Dad. He has lived up to and exceeded all my expectations in the “Dad” department. He is hilarious and wonderful in every way. Cooper has had Daddy so long that he knows the fun that awaits him when Daddy comes around; but Chase doesn’t quite know that yet. It was very special to watch Chase and Jeremy reconnect with one another. Jeremy is a really hands-on Dad; he tosses the boys in the air, gently wrestles with them and just plays and plays with them. I’m not that kind of Mom, so Chase was a bit scared by some of Jeremy’s antics at first. But once he understood Daddy was just playing and messing around with him, he warmed right up.
Of course, Daddy didn’t fully know how snuggly, cuddly little Chasey-Bud is. So the first time that Chase snuggled up on Jeremy’s chest, I thought I was going to have to catch him as his knees buckled and he melted into a pool of Daddy Butter. It was precious.
Chase snuggling Daddy
While Jeremy was home on leave, we tried to just live it up and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. We let Cooper stay up past his bedtime, we went driving through Christmas lights and sipped hot chocolate and coffee, we had a totally ROCKING game night with our friends as well as a Christmas Party/White Elephant gift exchange, we went out on a SUPER fancy date with our best friends, we ate out, we slept in, we shopped-it was so great!
We’ve been telling Cooper for a long time that Daddy would visit and then have to go back to his Army stuff. We reminded him all throughout the visit so that he wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t regret that in the least, but he certainly had a tough time last night with the thought of waking up to a house that doesn’t have Daddy in it. Cooper is a very tender and emotional child, so I wasn’t really surprised. And he did finally fall asleep and did ok.
This morning when he woke up, he came and snuggled me and just told me he was sad. He played his Daddy doll over and over again (it’s a doll that Jeremy says is “a Daddy action hero pillow” and it has a voice recording to Cooper/Chase from Jeremy that they can hear whenever they squeeze him) but other than expressing a couple thoughts, he did ok. I’m thinking that a little time with his friends and a little bit of out and about stuff (can you say after Christmas sales?) should perk him up a bit. He likes to shop so long as I’m not buying clothes…he he he he….
I’m clinging to a lot of Scripture and just reminding myself that this is the down-hill side of things. Each month that passes is one step closer to the end and I can handle that.
Thanks for all your well-wishes, phone calls, emails and texts to cheer me up. You guys are the best friends and family members anyone could ask for! I am so encouraged by you, thank you! And thank you for all your prayers- I certainly notice them being answered.
Breathing for a Bit
A lot of people have asked me what it is like/how it has been having Jeremy home for leave. I’ve mostly just said “awesome”, or “great” or something in that vicinity of verbiage. But really, it feels a bit like I breathed out for the first time in half a year. I can’t say that I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for the last six months, but now that he is home I just noticed I let out a deep breath. I feel relaxed, I’m sleeping better at night, stuff like that. It’s more than nice to have him home.
Jeremy was pretty tired for the first couple of days, but his body adjusted after day 2 or 3. We’ve talked A LOT. He has helped fill in the gaps for some questions I have had and that has been helpful as I try to wrap my head around what he is experiencing. As I mentioned, we have done a lot of talking and dreaming about the future and that has been super fun. I love that my best friend is my partner in life and that we get to journey through these places together. Life is so much better and more joyful when you get to share it with someone else.
I didn’t really make plans for us or this time that he would be home because I’ve heard that unmet expectations are the biggest “issue” when your spouse is on R&R. Instead, I just tossed a couple things out and we’ve planted them on the calendar as we’ve had time or motivation to do them. Jeremy has to head back VERY early the day after Christmas. We are not real thrilled about that mostly because the hour of his departure makes things kinda challenging with the kiddos. We did decide to celebrate Christmas about a week early. We thought it would be more fun if we had the chance to enjoy a week afterwords together so it didn’t feel so sudden for us or for Cooper and Chase. I believe we decided Monday or Tuesday will be our special Christmas day just for us!
I’m not really sure how I or the kids will feel once Jeremy goes again. I think it’ll be much the same as it was in July. My friend Carrie Shirkey gave me some great ideas when we met up in St. Louis to talk and visit with each other. Her hubby is a Chaplain and just deployed a few weeks ago. Jeremy and I have both tried to uplift and encourage each other that we are almost done with our respective roles in this um, “adventure”, and that has helped.
I think our prayer requests right now would be that the kids and I would get through the next 3 months pretty quick and that we would slide back into our little schedule we had before in a smooth manner. That Jeremy would continue to be safe and busy and that we would all continue to enjoy the frequent communication we’ve been able to have together. That communication has been a life line for me and the kiddos and has encouraged us and kept us connected.
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and enjoy this time with your families! Much love from us,
