Quiet Gardens, Raging Seas Part Deux
A String of Nevil Family MomentsArchive for Grown Up Stuff
We’re Good, Really, We Are…
Last night and this morning were tough for us here in the Nevil household. It was tough to choke back the tears as our minds wandered to all the FUN we’ve had while Jeremy was here on leave. We seriously had a blast together. It reminded me of how I felt shortly after Cooper was born. I remember wishing that none of us ever had to work again and that we could all just revel in our relationships with each other and the love and joy that abounds in our home. That’s about how I felt these last two weeks.
Our very special date night with the Metcalfes!
For me, it was a time to remember that I am not just a mom. I really needed that reminder more than I ever would have thought. I don’t mind being a mom, I love my role, but I got married because I love Jeremy and I love the person I am when I am with him. He reminded me that I’m a fun chick! He reminded me to be silly and to let go of being an authority in the household, he reminded me that he doesn’t just think I’m pretty, he thinks I’m GORGEOUS!
Our fun shopping date sans kiddos
We laughed and we played and we joked around so much. It was so fun to have someone who “gets” you around, someone who has been with you for so much of your life that you can say just one word and you look at each other and fall on the floor laughing because you both get it. It is an understatement to say it was a blast!
One of my other favorite things about having him home was seeing him with our children. I always knew when I was dating Jeremy that he would be an AMAZING Dad. He has lived up to and exceeded all my expectations in the “Dad” department. He is hilarious and wonderful in every way. Cooper has had Daddy so long that he knows the fun that awaits him when Daddy comes around; but Chase doesn’t quite know that yet. It was very special to watch Chase and Jeremy reconnect with one another. Jeremy is a really hands-on Dad; he tosses the boys in the air, gently wrestles with them and just plays and plays with them. I’m not that kind of Mom, so Chase was a bit scared by some of Jeremy’s antics at first. But once he understood Daddy was just playing and messing around with him, he warmed right up.
Of course, Daddy didn’t fully know how snuggly, cuddly little Chasey-Bud is. So the first time that Chase snuggled up on Jeremy’s chest, I thought I was going to have to catch him as his knees buckled and he melted into a pool of Daddy Butter. It was precious.
Chase snuggling Daddy
While Jeremy was home on leave, we tried to just live it up and do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. We let Cooper stay up past his bedtime, we went driving through Christmas lights and sipped hot chocolate and coffee, we had a totally ROCKING game night with our friends as well as a Christmas Party/White Elephant gift exchange, we went out on a SUPER fancy date with our best friends, we ate out, we slept in, we shopped-it was so great!
We’ve been telling Cooper for a long time that Daddy would visit and then have to go back to his Army stuff. We reminded him all throughout the visit so that he wouldn’t be surprised. I don’t regret that in the least, but he certainly had a tough time last night with the thought of waking up to a house that doesn’t have Daddy in it. Cooper is a very tender and emotional child, so I wasn’t really surprised. And he did finally fall asleep and did ok.
This morning when he woke up, he came and snuggled me and just told me he was sad. He played his Daddy doll over and over again (it’s a doll that Jeremy says is “a Daddy action hero pillow” and it has a voice recording to Cooper/Chase from Jeremy that they can hear whenever they squeeze him) but other than expressing a couple thoughts, he did ok. I’m thinking that a little time with his friends and a little bit of out and about stuff (can you say after Christmas sales?) should perk him up a bit. He likes to shop so long as I’m not buying clothes…he he he he….
I’m clinging to a lot of Scripture and just reminding myself that this is the down-hill side of things. Each month that passes is one step closer to the end and I can handle that.
Thanks for all your well-wishes, phone calls, emails and texts to cheer me up. You guys are the best friends and family members anyone could ask for! I am so encouraged by you, thank you! And thank you for all your prayers- I certainly notice them being answered.
Availability
Yesterday afternoon I turned on my Christmas music. It was such a fun feeling to listen to it in the back ground as I went about my day. It made me giddy with anticipation of all that is to come very soon. But it also got me thinking about the “holiday season” and how busy we all are.
Ugh…it just makes my lip curl a tad. Isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again all the while expecting different results? We do that, right? Every new year we say “it’ll be better next year” for this, that or the other reasons. But it’s always busy and people are always stretched financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Sure we head into the season with huge amounts of joy and anticipation. But when it’s all over all we want is a nap!
These days I find myself in full swing in a place like that; I call it my “Busy Mom Land”. I knew that this day would come (and I whined about it all summer) as my first born entered school. I also know that it will get even more busy and chaotic as our boys continue to grow up and as more kids are tentatively added to the picture.
But as I wiggle around in some new responsibilities and try to find my footing, I’m learning a lot. I’m learning about myself; what I like and dislike, what I can do well and what I really don’t do well, as well as what I need if I am going to do ANYTHING well, i.e. sleep and coffee (in that order).
What it all boils down to for me is availability. I love being available to people! I want to be available too. Not just emotionally available but physically, spiritually and financially available. I like to have some space in my life and my day to do the unexpected just because I’m available!
Today at church, one of our ministers told us that there is a family whose children go to the school where our church meets on Sundays and they are living out of their car. They have six children and they are homeless. I believe there are something like 48 families in need just that this school is aware of and Renovo (our church) is doing what we can to help. I love this and I don’t say this to toot my church’s proverbial horn, I just say it because I love that we are making ourselves available to others. To me, that is speaking Jesus to people, that is what breathes life into a dark world.
In my “Busy Mom Land” and in the holiday season, I find that what I really need is some space. Some space so that I can be available to have my neighbor over for a cup of coffee just on the fly without notice or prearrangement (or makeup), some space in my wallet to buy a turkey for a family who wouldn’t be able to do that for themselves, some space to take a nap and give myself an emotional breather from all this running around I feel like I do and some time to pray and be at peace and at rest.
I’m learning so much right now in this season of life. I want to be available to others and I want to be available to my kids. I’m the only one who can guard my time and put the necessary space in the places it can go so that I can live in the talents God has given to me. There are a lot of things I stink at (and that stinkin’ list is growing), but there are a lot of things I’m good at too. I hope I can say that one of the things I’m good at is being available. I want Cooper and Chase to say of me and of Jeremy that we always made ourselves available to them for any reason and at any time.
